Almost 1 month

It's almost been a month since I last blogged, which I sincerely am apologetic for. I can't be bothered honestly. But I'll try to update you guys on stuff I've missed.

Anyway here are some pictures for my muslim friends.


It's a mosque!!!! I walked past when I was on a field trip for class about a month ago. The teacher said it was the oldest and biggest mosque in Japan. So if you need to pray, come to Kobe. (It kinda rhymes).

It was kind of strange to come across this in Japan.

Well for a return to blogging blog pretty boring blog really.

By the way, I found out about this yesterday!



I know it's got nothing to do with Japan but I want to buy it anyway when it comes out. It is coming out when I'm in Japan so it is kind of related. End story.

Blogging is boring and hard work

Blogging can take a lot out of you. I mean especially for people like me that sit at home and do nothing but watch countless episodes of countless movies and tv shows, when does one really get time to blog?

I have been procrastinating for quite a while actually. Need to read a book about "learning a 2nd language". Quite boring really. Sounded good earlier in the semester.

During my time of procrastination I got in contact with my host family of three years ago. I havn't been in contact since then and I thought I'd give them a call just to say I was in Kobe. Man were they surprised to hear from me. A few hours later I was over their place having dinner. A great home cooked meal. :) But I'm sure your not interested in that. Here's somthing you might be interested in.



When you flush my host family's toilet, it refills the water part. But instead of going straight there, the water goes to a basin which is situated on the toilet. "Crazy japanese!" I hear you say. Well I think it's ingenious and everyone in a dry, waterless country should have one. i.e. Australia. End Story.

McPan or McJapan

Yes I know the time is getting longer, and longer between posts, but thats only because I've been very busy with the socialising that comes with staying in a dormitory. Occasionally I may not even be home for long enough to type crap that is usually associated with blogs (except mine). So here comes my speech.

I am a very, very and very long servant of the McDonalds Corporation and have only just recently retired from that very, very and very shit line of work. Anyways long story short, I'm a poor student in a foreign country so I go eat and analyse McDonalds in Japan.

As a McDonogynocoligist I am an avid researcher of fried goods and pussy. Don't confuse me with a BiMcDonogynocoligist because I don't mix the two together or I'd rather keep the two separate. Anyway here we have a McWrap. Normally we see the 'Chicken' variety in Australia but in Japan it is known as the 'Ebi' variety or prawn for the non Japanese. It has a much more prawny taste than the Australian one.

I had the wrap with a BigMac meal (insert BigMac here). Do you out there notice something odd? No? Look closer. Not yet? Look closier? Nothing? Look even more closier.

The straw does not come out from the middle. No. It comes out of a place I especially coined 'offset to the middle'. Sorry I promise no more closier jokes. I mean that is serious weird and illogical. Or maybe the Japanese are the smartest country in the universe. Seriously think of the benefits of have the straw come out of a place that is slightly 'offset to the middle'. You don't have to have your mouth reach as far when going for the next drink (if you have the offset direscted at you of course). This is going to revolutionise the world.

This however will not. It is the Teriyaki Burger or as the Japanese like to call it 'Teriyaki BaaGaa'. It just tastes like a Teriyaki Burger. Enough said. But I could go one for years about the next burger.

The King is back and by 'King' I mean King BIGMAC. In Japan it is known as the Mega MAC. (Big letters for emphasis). It's big but messy. Of course as a McDonogynocoligist I have to deal with pussies too. Here is a clean shaven one.

Sorry folks its not over yet. Here we have the Chicken Shake. I do warn you watching this video yourself is not recommended and I should know because I'm a McDonogynocoligist. Trust me you would rather watch this with 2 people at least. End story.

My Best Buy Yet kindof notrelli

Long time no post. But for my deserved fans of CanDanJapan (you know you love it), here's a quickie. I'm tired as fuck. I don't know how fuck is but he or she must be very tired.

So here's my purchase of the week.
Oooooooooooo Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! Your all saying now I bet. In awe of thte magnificant ..... thing. It's actually my train pass and it costs 16420 YEN. Instead of buying tickets each time I want to leave this boring island I live in to hit the town I use this 3 month pass which gives me unlimited rides for, you guessed it, 3 months. It also saves me a lot of money.

But as you know something bad is bound to happen when so much goodness is packed into one flimsy tiny card. I. Lost. It. Fortunately for me, after I reported it missing, it was handed to the police. God bless the Japanese people. They are so nice. So a few days later I went to the Police station and got back my awesome train pass.

Ok that actually wasn't the most awesome thing I have bought recently. In fact some of you might of found it quite boring. Well this might get those hormones running. It's my super uber cool badminton racquet.

Seems pretty plain and boring right..... Even the yellow strings dont attract much attention. But look closer. Still can't see it? Look closier. Still can't see it? Look even more closier.

Yes it is the brand spanking new ArcSaber 10. That's right, this is the badminton racquet that is used by Jedi Knights so that you can "Be one with the shuttlecock". Actually this racquet is roughly $A220. I can just imagine the amount of messages I'll get saying, "Danial you spendin too much on crap.... blah blah blah." But I had to get one. I started playing with the Badminton club at Kobe U and they play here 4 times a week. Quite stressful really.

Also I didn't want to buy a racquet crapper than the one I have at home so I bought the best of the best. So take that Ronald. :p Suck on your Nanospeed. End Story.

Fingernails are pretty, Fingernails are good!!!

So your reading the title and your probly wondering what this blog is going to be all about. Well here it is. Here you can see my pretty itty bitty fingernails.




Ok on a more serious note, here is an even better tale. On a lazy Tuesday April 8th at about 10PM local time, I was out in the lobby of my dormitory picking my units with some other students when a tall rain soaked Swede walked in. This guy just happened to live across the hall from me and he said, "Hey Dan, check this out!!!" He reached into his picket and out popped out an envelope, WITH FOO FIGHTER TICKETS. I was like OMG OMG OMG like a chick. Apparently he bought them from the local convenience store (as you do in Japan).


So I got changed into my boardies and went with Mikael, the Swede, back to the convenience store, which takes about 2 minutes to run. Found the machine where you buy tickets from and selected Foo Fighters concert. A receipt pops out then you take it to the cashier and pay the 8000YEN (about A$90) and went off back home with my super uber Foo Fighters ticket.

I think the most amazing thing here is that Dave Grohl and co are playing this Tuesday and it still hasn't sold out. An even more amzing fact is that the seating has sold out but not the mosh pit. So sorry all those in Australia that can't get a ticket. Apparently there's plenty here for those that want to mosh. I know I will be. End story.

Robots and so on....

Hello everyone!!! How's it going? I hear PROSH is on tomorrow, not that I care because I've never involved myself with it, but would just like to mention it all the same. Anyways I havn't been doing much, still sorting out my life in Japan, and getting all the the necessary stuff sorted. Havn't got internet in my room yet but it should be soon. I did get some pretty cool things.

Here's my super uber cool phone. Costs about A$110 for the phone, and yes it is one of the crappest phone here. But it is a 3G phone meaning that theres two cameras for videocalls and its really, really awesome-o than my Australian phones.

Look at its sexy 2 mega pixel camera on the back.

It's like a super model. It pukes up after it eats. That's how it keeps its figure.

But that is not all. This phone does not send sms. Instead it sends messages by email. My phone not only has a phone number, it also has an email address. You can email my phone at mailto:dan2smart@softbank.ne.jp". Also something surprising that I found out is that Japanese phones now use SIM cards so I might be able to use it in Australia. So take that everyone with awesome phones.

Here is my number 2 awesomo device. Not as important as my phone but totally oozes style and grace. It is the ................. drum roll ................. my PSP.

Heres me opening it.
Look at its packaged goodness.

Bow before my PSP. It is better than you.

Of course no PSP would be complete without one game. And of course I picked the best. "Boku no watashi no Katamari" literally meaning, Our Katamari. It's a game where you roll a sticky ball around to pick up objects to make the ball bigger. Yeh.... Thats pretty much it.... But trust me it is more fun than I make it out to be.

Japan with Pictures

So it has been a while since I've posted something on here. Well gimme a break, it's hard adujusting to Japanese life, with all the trains and what not. Here's some things I have seen while in Kobe.



Here is a picture of the first toilet that I came across in Japan. Yes, it is defitnitely a stereotype that all Japanese toilets have special devices. And yes the contraception on the side is for a little water spout to pop up and spray water up your .... arse.

I think we need this not only in Australia but the rest of the world. I mean we are still living in the 20th century back in Perth.




Some warning or instructions on the use of toilet because it is possible that this thing can eat you.

Here is a vending machine. Japan is famous for these things because they are literally everywhere. This one is across the road from the dorm.

Well that's enough for today. More later. End story.

Nippon wa kowai!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Letg me spell it out to you people in Australia. I miss the keyboards there. Currently I`m in a Japanese internet cafe that is overpriced but has free drinks and a tv and PS2 in my booth. AND THE KEYBOARD SUX ASS. I can`t believe I`m saying this but I miss Australian keyboards, or normal keyboards.

I am scared out of my mind at the moment but also loving every minute of it. I know that didn`t make sense because I didn`t sleep on my 1am flight to Japan. Also I know that my upper apostrophes look funny, I can`t find a proper one. Well until I work out how to get internet at home I will have random crazy patches of sleep deprived blogging as I lose myself in the city.

By the way, the place I`m staying at is so quiet but it looks and feels like the middle of Perth. No joke!!!! Also an Ikea is opening soon. Looks like I can get some furniture for my room. Sorry about the no pics in this post but I was`nt planning on blogging like this. End story.

Update 20mins after inital post: I hacked a map


Basically I live in Perth city kinda of place. Not the busy part, more like East Perth and where I am now is like a party where people arn`t really having fun but are still there to crowd the place up. Maybe I`m being delusional again. I really need sleep. It`s so BIG HERE. End story.

OMFG!!! Part 1

I would like to introduce to you my OMFG part of my blog. In it will be OMFG stuff that boggles the mind.

I would like to leave the most perfect example.


Nothing out of the ordinary really. 6 pack of VB, $21.30 singapore dollars so about $15.00 Aus money. A bit pricey but you could say it was imported from Victoria. No set your jaws to drop.


Yes it is true. Coronas are cheaper than VBs. I know VBs have been Boonie and Warnie endorsed but that does not make it worth more in this SO VERY cricketing nation of Singapore. I mean they always have people playing on their one cricket pitch....

So coronas are cheaper in Singapore ann cheaper than VB. What more can I say. HELL YEH. End Story.

Not in Japan, But I see the LIGHT!!!

Im still in SEA (if you don't know what that stands for all u non asians need to GOOGLE it), and its been a relaxing time. However I'm in Malaysia, city of Kuching on the island of Borneo, famous for its orangutans. I have seen some here previously but can't be botheres going RAMBO in the jungle to find some. By the way, I find Rambo 4 to be a great movie for what it is, a bloodygorefestthatonlyrambocandeliver movie.

Anyways this tropical heat is killing me. I'm all sticky and wet, and before you all get too turned on, I'll jus say its not such a pretty site.

Whilst sweatily typin away I would like to announce that I hae finally received instructions on where, when and how much my accomadation is. Except it is in Japanese. I can decifer some of it but it's gonna take some balls to actually follow the instructions with my translation.
Anyone who translates this for shall be paid in many riches, or not, or maybe just a prize from Japan. Maybe one of those Japanese thingies, you know the stuff that people always rave about and you have no idea what they are talking about but you go with it cause it's the cool thing to do. Heck it's always a good idea to worship Japanese things like whale eating and fat people fighting.

So get translating people otherwise instead of going to my Japanese International Residence, I might accidentally wind up at the local red light district. "Accidentally"...... End Story.